V Day

Boys. 
It comes around every year. 
It's a faff. It's a minefield. 
It always gets you in trouble.
Best to just ignore it, eh?

Girls.
Dreaded from the start of February.
Has he planned something? Should I? 
What are the post-feminist implications of how I feel about this??

Restraunteurs.
Excellent. 
Let's re-name our menus, re-stock only the most expensive wines on the list and watch the suckers fall out of love under a canopy of heart shaped piñatas which we shall burst open onto their heads as they break up over their deserts.
Hah!

Ok so Valentines isn't such a big deal in the UK. We love to mock our cousins across the pond for taking it so seriously. "Oh it's all a big corporate ruse" we sigh, whilst burying our faces in discounted Valentines chocolate and pretending we're not remotely envious of the one girl in the office who got sent a massive bouquet to her desk. Meanwhile, said girl is looking around in bewilderment and alarm, trying to work out whether Steve from IT is giving her knowing looks or not. 

Our general British cynicism complicates things more than it does for Stateside V Day enthusiasts because we don't have a clear set of foolproof instructions for how to behave unless we're in a relationship and have learnt already through trial and error. Personally, I've had some pretty hilarious (god awful) Valentines days. As per any situation that brings any expectations with it, the night is doomed. 

But it doesn't have to be this way... Here are some easy to follow rules to navigating Valentines no matter what stage of life or love you're at. 

For singles:

The way I see it, you have two options here. One is clearly to take your Netflix and Love Film trials simultaneously and watch as many old, bad Rom Coms as you can, whilst tucked up in a new fluffy set of PJs you bought yourself and a box of Hotel Chocolat.

Love yourself, love bed

Ponies are better than boys anyway

Classic

It's over (literally)

No sharing

...no sharing with girls

Or you could solve the problem in advance of feeling sorry for yourself on the night, but not so far in advance that it puts any pressure on the 14th itself. The Book Club in Shoreditch runs a series of speed dating events that are genuinely filled with fun, young singles. Last Night A Speed Date Changed My Life was a real hit last year and the same organisers are back now on the 11th of Feb with the even-less-committal "Meet and Mingle". Tickets are £5 in advance and they fill boy and girl quotas so you're guaranteed to find yourself in an equally weighted room. The location of The Book Club - on the edge of the City, but comfortably within Shoreditch means that only City types with know-how will have made it this far from Tiger Tiger and they'll be peppering a sea of trendier bods. I don't know about you, but I think that's the perfect combination.

Image courtesy of Last Night A Speed Date Changed My Life: Taken at The Book Club

For daters (boys):

So you've been seeing her for a while. Nothing's official, you've kind-of done the dinner thing, but really you just met up for drinks and then got hungry so you waited until it was late enough to pop into a no reservations joint to share a meal. The 14th of February is approaching and you've not asked her out - what to do?

If you're not that into her: Sometimes it's easy to forget that how you feel should play a stake in what you do. Just because it's Valentines doesn't oblige you to get all hearts and flowers if you don't mean it. If you don't want to hang out, it's not fair to leave her hanging. Say something (anything) in advance. If you leave it to the day it'll become a 'thing'. Let her know directly or indirectly that you're busy that night. "So I'm not that into Valentines...or you" or "Er, by the way I'm spending next Thursday (14th) in playing X Box. Just sayin'" are erring on the harsh side, so if you want to continue dating but without having to take it to the next level then perhaps have a real reason. For all you know, she's inundated with date requests but has been waiting to see if you ask her.

If you are into her but find the idea of making that a reality through the cringe-worthy institution of Valentines Day, fair enough. Ask her to do something, but don't go anywhere where the date will be shoved in your face every 5 minutes. A no reservations restaurant will set you in good stead to not have to make a fuss, though you will have to get there hideously early to make it work. Try The Chicken Shop, Bubbledogs, Flat Iron, Pattie and Bun, Koya, Bone Daddys if you want to go this route. 

Otherwise, I cannot recommend eating in enough. You can make an effort with minimal time involvement by cooking a steak and pre-buying desert - the act of cooking for someone is romantic and caring and in the environment of your own home you won't need to see a single heart or flower but the effort will have been made. If you fancy this approach, I'd recommend my steak and blue cheese rostie recipe (here) followed by either pre-bought or home made Gu pots.

Romance in meat form

Sealing the deal

For daters (girls):

Keep your options open... that's all I'm saying. There's no point in holding out for the guy who waits until the day to ask you out, when you could be missing out on a pre-planned piece of chivalry. Yeah, yeah I know we're all independent ladies these days, but these moments are few and far between so I personally insist on having my cake and eating it too. If you feel like me about the day, you can look to it's patron saint St. Valentine for justification: he was after all the saint of courtly love so it's only fair to honour him with a little ceremony... 

Oh and it's a great excuse to buy a new dress. I usually opt for an LBD - comfort and flattery in one.

Plunge back £35

Plunge front £30

Tunic dress £28

Sweetheart dress £38

For boyfriends:

You don't have to go crazy and book The Fat Duck 2 years in advance, nor do you have to jet off to Monaco for the weekend or arrive laden with diamonds. Flowers are cliche and cumbersome - I'd advise against them unless you really know she's a flowers kind of gal. Also, men take note, white lilies are for funerals and Carnations are functional - they are not "like Roses but more frilly". 

All it takes to 'win' is a little advance notice that you've got the evening covered, a reservation at the cute little Italian down the road or, better yet in your own kitchen and for extra points: some lingerie (at least there's something in it for you too). Bear in mind that it's the thought that counts, so please don't buy anything from the side of the road - let alone flowers, chocolates from Tesco or lingerie from Primark... it's better to turn up empty handed. 

For a full on guide to buying lingerie for your lady, read this excellent Mr Porter article. The basic rule of thumb is this: Find out her size (her bra size will be helpfully written on the inside of her bras - so assuming you have at least some access, you should be fine). For bottoms, don't buy too small - the greatest sin of the male lingerie buyer is to buy teeny tiny pieces of floss that are to ass what wire is to cheese. It hurts fellas - don't go there. 

Elle Macphearson does great shapes that flatter all figures:

Brazilian thong: £21

Balconette bra

Their bras are a simlar shape to this Myla Best Seller. 

The 'Nicole'

Brief briefs

If she usually wears a softer cup, then go with Chantelle. This set comes in lots of different colours and has briefs not a thong, but they're see-through anyway so I think you won't mind ;-)

My go-to lingerie set

For girlfriends:

Resentment is not constructive: "Oh, he probably won't even know it's hit him until the 14th and then he'll either suggest Pizza express or will pretend it's not happening." *Sigh*... Sound familiar?  Whilst it can be frustrating to feel a little sidelined, it's better to make sure you have a nice evening than set him up for a fall. If no mention has been made of Valentines by now, you've either got yourself that very breed of man who not only plans things in advance AND is also romantic enough to want to surprise you on the night... Or not, in which case I'd suggest taking matters into your own hands. 

Decide which no reservation restaurants or sweet local Italian equivalent to suggest, tell him that it would be nice to go out for a meal, don a nice LBD and head down there hand in hand ready to go dutch. Or, if you'd rather a special and romantic night in, then plan to cook something yourself. Let him know that you're doing it, so that he at least gets the hint to bring a nice bottle. Either way, try not to guilt trip, cajole or berate your boy into doing something he'll resent later - remember it works much better when they think they had the idea in the first place ;-) 

My last piece of advice to make sure you it all goes smoothly is to appreciate what you've got, whether that's your self, some nice PJ's, your best friend, a whole load of date possibilities, "the one" or a giant white teddy bear wearing a scarf. Occasions can easily become pressure cookers before you know it and in our competitive Facebook-crazy society, we've got a tendency to measure our own experience against others' - it's who you're with and how they make you feel not what their means are that count.

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The gift of friendship...cake

I'm a big sourdough fan. It tastes great, is better for you, lighter on the hips but mainly it's a lovely thing to share with friends because the starting sourdough culture can be kept forever as long as it is kept alive by airing, stirring and feeding. Keeping the culture alive means growing it gradually too, so once divided each person can cultivate their own small bit into an even bigger bit of doughy joy.

This is the principle that Herman (The German Friendship Cake) is based on. I was luckily enough to be given a bubbling jar of him by my bestie Anna and have now passed him on to a few more. If you want to start your own Herman, then follow this recipe, after that you grow and cultivate him for 10 days and pass the following recipe on to your friends with your jar of dough.

Sourdough Friends

After 10 days of my kitchen smelling faintly of yeast, he was ready to add to and to cook. 

I included apples, raisins, vanilla essence and cinnamon in mine, topped with a simple butter and brown sugar crust and then served him up for breakfast on a lazy weekend morning with a big dollop of Greek Yoghurt and some american style syrup. 

After cooking him at 190° for 1.5 hours (covering for the last 1/2 hour) - this is much longer than the instructions but everyone I've spoken to says that he takes far longer to cook than the 45 minutes allowed, I only cooled him for a few minutes on the rack before serving - this was because I prefer a warm cake for breakfast. We had him cold with a cup of Earl Grey on Sunday too and he was just as good but an all together different taste and texture when cold.

Anna got her dough from an already started chain. There's something deeply satisfying about knowing that each person gives him to 4 more, so in theory the chain should multiply outwards every 10 days. 

This is the lovely little package that I handed to Georgie on Friday (Lauren and Ruth will be getting theirs soon). I'm looking forwards to hearing about the results. 

I attempted to superficially disguise the fact that I was carrying around an odd smelling, bubbling jar by putting it in a Selfridges Food Hall bag... It didn't stop me from getting more than a few odd looks in the restaurant I met Georgie in on my lunch break.

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New Heights: The Shard

Over the last week, we've been in a couple of high places. Last Friday, we headed into town for 'city drinks' and took the fastest lift in Europe to Sushi Samba for cocktails. The heights and the cocktails were equally dizzying but recently surpassed by the view from the newly tallest building in London: The Shard 

The Shard only opened to the public on Friday, which makes going to see it now a sightly surreal experience. The staff are a little frantic, there's nothing to eat or drink but the views are truly incredible and make you appreciate the sheer size of London. 

The Shard: Tallest building in London at 309 metres... 

We took great pleasure in spotting Heron Tower (the Sushi Samba and Duck and Waffle tower) from our new higher vantage as well as The OXO Tower, The London Eye, The Tower Bridge Promontory and all the other places we've gone in the past to ooh and aah over London's views. From up here they look like lego blocks. 

The walls of The Shard slant inwards which heightens your sense of vertigo, as does the fact that on the 72nd floor - the open air one - you can continue looking upwards into the Sky and the unfinished feel makes it all seem more precarious than it (hopefully) is too. 

A little birdie has told us that Aqua - one of our favourite cocktail bars with a view (near Carnaby Street) have bought up some prime real estate on the 33rd floor which will soon be a bar/ restaurant so we'll be back very soon. 



Sushi Samba: Fastest lift in Europe... not so great after a few cocktails but a claim to fame nonetheless.

Peep Toes by Jimmy, Shirt by ASOS (sold out) similar here or for delux here

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Rum Shack (baby rum shack)

Last night I popped into the launch event for Floridita's new pop up rum shack to sample a few cocktails. I used to come down to Floridita to dance a few years back so it was lovely to come back to an old favourite with a new purpose. Granted, Floridita is cheesy. There's definitely a crowd that comes in for 'dinner and a show' but the live music is genuinely Cuban, warm and characterful, and the 'live show' consists of the reaction by the crowd. There's the latin dance contingent who turn up in earnest and take over areas of the floor in turn and then there's those brave enough to join them. I technically still fall into the former, my companions, the latter so I gave a lesson or two.

The Rum Shack occupies a corner of Floridita's long bar. They've transformed the 50's stylings of the rest of it into wooden beach-hut chic and created a special rum cocktail list too. The cocktails are great - served (dare I say it) Mahiki style in coconut cups or various other gimmicky guises. First up we sampled the Hemmingway punch, which was just right - crucially not too sweet. After that, we moved on to Margaritas for the rest of the night - not the frozen kind. Oddly I find that these don't give me too much of a hangover so I'm likely to order them if I'm planning on drinking a few.

If you're on one of those dates that start in a little Soho restaurant (great idea right, there's loads to do in Soho)... and then leads to wandering around Old Compton Street dazed and confused, unable to even find standing room in a bad pub, then Floridita is your solution. For nothing whisks us ladies off our feet like little dance (the old fashioned way) and an elegant tipple. Floridita is famous for selling good cigars so if you're into that, be sure to ask, though the smoking ban makes this a little less fun.

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Cheese Supper Club

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Home House is one of London's smaller, less stuffy members' clubs. Having recently been wined and dined at The Garrick, which is quite an incredible experience - 100 portraits of members past staring you out from the walls and a general atmosphere not unlike the Dons' room at an Oxbridge university - it was interesting to see the contrast. Home House has a similar shabby old money decorum about it, but it's full of a younger, more sprightly looking people (obviously I include my party in that). We were eating with an old friend of mine and a couple who we recently met at her birthday party. They have Home House to thank for their union in part, as they met at Glastonbury and recognised each other from "the house" - a phew, someone like me moment perhaps... sorry guys ;-). Anyway, if you're looking to have a similar moment, whilst half passed out at a festival this summer, then maybe apply now?

Home House do a rather special thing very Monday in January that flies in the face of January, Mondays, and, well.. restraint: Hot Vacherin Mont d'Or nights. I'll let the pictures do the talking here but suffice to say, it was a rather indulgent evening. 

ou can't experience this yourself at The House until next year but this has to be one of the easiest indulgences to recreate at home. Maybe for a Valentines meal in (low effort, high romance - if you're both into cheese). If you're not jetting off skiing any time soon but fancy holding a fondu dinner party then all you need is a good cheese supplier. 

Flo and I always recommend La Fromagerie in Marylebone (post here) but you can also go to Neils Yard or Selfridges food hall. Pick up some good quality ham and cornichons for dipping, boil some potatoes, sprinkle with rocksalt and serve (salad optional).
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